SO YOU THINK YOU HAVE A MARRIAGE TOO?

Hello dear friends & family!! We appreciate the privilege to share with you on the penultimate day in August 2019 & also the fact that this is the 130th post on this blog.

2019 is spinning away so fast & it’s super amazing to reflect on what has transpired so far this year. As usual, we love to ask about your goals & targets for 2019, hope it’s running smoothly or it’s jacking a bit & you need a pit-stop.

No matter the situation, just make sure you are growing that is the most important.

In our last session on this topic, we asked a question “SO YOU THINK YOU HAVE A MARRIAGE?” and we got a lot of feedback from people with different perspectives about the post & we do appreciate it as these comments make us know that people out there are reading & are being impacted by the post.

To catch up on the last post, please click the link below:

SO YOU THINK YOU HAVE A MARRIAGE?

Just a bit of house cleaning as we gradually look forward to celebrating our 5th Year Anniversary.

Please note that in the coming days & months some changes will be made regarding the distribution of our contents via Social Media to ensure that we are as less intrusive as possible.

Before that happens please subscribe to our blog by clicking the “Follow Blog” button at the bottom of our homepage. We do appreciate the support & feedback.

In our society today, there are a lot of living arrangements between a man & a woman that doesn’t necessarily mean marriage. The institution of marriage has really been watered down to the wedding ceremony alone. I recently attended a colleague’s wedding & I felt a bit of nostalgia looking at the couple beaming with smiles, holding hands & dancing.

It was really beautiful, however that wedding ceremony signals the beginning of a lifetime journey together as a couple & it’s the only institution in which you actually get a certificate (Marriage Certificate) before the learning, tests & examinations starts.

That event got me thinking about how the focus today is about arranging a big ceremony, while neglecting the journey of marriage.

That journey happens to have 4 seasons & it doesn’t mean like nature all of them come & go in a space of a year. The 4 seasons can happen to a couple in a space of days, weeks, months or years & to really affirm that you have a marriage the couple (as a team) must successfully navigate through these seasons & make adjustments while each season lasts to come out better.

Also the 4 seasons of marriage come in cycles & it’s never a one-off, so the requirement for the couple is to keep working on a daily or regular basis on themselves to get better & better.

As was mentioned in one of the posts on making a great team, there are stages to team dynamic: Forming, Storming, Norming & Performing. The same principle applies to marriage.

Marriages that have lasted over the years go through the 4 stages & seasons to come out pristine like Gold after a refiner’s fire.

My wife & I are looking to celebrate 14 years of marriage later this year & I must tell you it’s been awesome ( One of the best decisions I’ve made in my life) & challenging all at the same time. For us to really say or think we have a marriage, we’ve had to go through all of the stages & seasons while we kept getting better & better just like sweet wine.

A lot of younger couples see us & are inspired, they want what we have & even ask that we mentor & pray for them, etc. We just smile & oblige their request noting that nothing good come easily & it takes serious effort to get a good thing going. It’s a lot of hard-work & teamwork.

To put things in perspective:

EVERY MARRIAGE OUT THERE IS DEALING WITH ONE ISSUE OR ANOTHER.

Please don’t be deceived to think your marriage is so bad & that the grass is greener on the other side. It’s greener on that side because they put in the effort to water it.

I see a lot of young people who like our technological advancements wants things easy, quickly & microwaved but just like nature you need to plant the seed, water it, wait for a while to allow it grow & then get harvest.

SEED-TIME-HARVEST

The 4 Seasons

The concept of the 4 seasons of marriage comes from a book by one of my favorite authors Gary Chapman PhD ( who wrote The 5 Love Languages)

There is a series about The 5 Love Languages on this blog & you can click the link below to peruse them starting with Part 1

The 5 Love Languages

The climate in my home country of Nigeria is divided into 2 seasons: Raining Season ( which we are in now) & the Dry Season ( where we experience Harmattan between November & mid-March)

It’s possible to still discuss the seasons of marriage using this as examples, however to be consistent with the author in the light of the climate/weather obtainable in the US & the fact that it’s a global audience, we will stick with the 4 seasons of WINTER, SPRING,SUMMER & FALL.

In the next post on this series, each season will be looked at as Dr. Chapman highlighted in his book & we will draw out the emotions,attitudes,actions & the climate of relationship.

What stage of team dynamics are you in your marriage?

You think it’s greener on the other side?

What season are you currently in your marriage?

So you think you have a marriage too?

This is my snippet …….. I AM SHALOMESQ

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November – Heart Matters

Heart

Hello everyone, hope we are all doing great as we have about 40 days to Christmas & 47 days to the year 2018!!!

It’s been an amazing 2017 for me & I hope it’s the same for you.

As we approach the end of the year, its a good time to take stock of this year & review how well you have performed against the goals & objectives you set way back in January.

I am currently doing that & by the end of the month, I would have practically assessed myself & start looking towards 2018.

The month of November is very special to me as all heart related matters happened to me in this month.

My wedding anniversary was on the 5th of the month & I have written in time past as regards my marriage & this year we celebrated 12 solid years of super hot monogamy & I am still chasing the MRS around the house on a regular basis!!!

Today 16th marks 19 years since I first set my eyes on this wonderful damsel that I now call wife & mother of my children & it’s been an amazing journey.

I’ve written 2 posts that chronicles clear nuggets as well as my journey from seeing her for the first time to becoming my soul mate which is what I termed Phase 1

Last night we both had a chat about our lives together these 12 & 19 years as well as what the next line of actions will be as we forge ahead into the future.

Two word rings through for us at this stage & that is GRATITUDE & OVERDOSE, we are super grateful to God for all he has done in our lives, its been super amazing looking at what he is currently doing & we are grateful for the things he has in store for us in the future.It’s been an overdose of love, joy, peace & praise for us over these years!!

Zig Ziglar says “People who have good relationships at home are more effective in the marketplace.” The stability we’ve had at the home front has been the main reason & force for my effectiveness at work & in my career.

I will be the first to admit that it’s not been all smooth & we’ve had our rough patches…. a whole lot, but God has seen us through each & everyone as the number of our challenges became the number of our victories.

To top it up, next week 23rd is also her birthday as she continues to be my very own cute sweet 16 ( with years of experience to back it up) & then it’s THANKSGIVING as well.

Now you understand why this month is super special to me!!

To celebrate these heart related matters, I will be adding 2 more nuggets to my 10 from 10 post  as well as start Phase 2 of bone of my bones series.

Stay tuned & let’s go on this journey together.

I do hope that someone will be helped & inspired as we look to resolve all heart related matters.

My heart matters are rock solid & in good condition, how about yours?

This is my snippet, I AM SHALOMESQ!!!