THE TOTAL MAN – II

Hello Family, it’s the penultimate Friday in September 2019!!! The year is really running away & before you know it the year 2020 is here. I do hope you are ticking off your 2019 set goals.

If YES, Kudos to you. If NO, all is not lost yet, we still have about 15 weeks left in 2019 to score some points & end the year on a high.

We would like to sincerely appreciate everyone who has joined this train (SHALOMESQSNIPPET), who reads our posts, follows this blog, makes comments & share these posts with others. You, all are the reason we are still here.

Just a bit of house cleaning as we gradually look forward to celebrating our 5th Year Anniversary.

Please note that in the coming days & months some changes will be made regarding the distribution of our contents via Social Media to ensure that we are as less intrusive as possible.

Before that happens please subscribe to our blog by clicking the “Follow Blog” button at the bottom of our homepage. We do appreciate the support & feedback.

To catch up on the last posts in this series, please click on the links below:

THE TOTAL MAN

THE TOTAL MAN – I

In continuation of the series, please note that Leke Alder gave this lecture or speech at the Men’s Conference of The Covenant Christian Center, The Covenant Place Iganmu, Lagos, Nigeria on Sunday, June 29, 2019.

Once again, allow me to introduce to some & present to others, Leke Alder:

In Genesis we’re told the man God created stood in representative capacity. He represented both male and female. “So God created man in his own image; in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them.” Genesis 1:26-28. The man stood in a representative capacity for a wife he did not yet have. Eve had not been created. There’s thus something called premarital responsibility in manhood.

If the man in Genesis stood in the place of responsibility as a bachelor it follows marriage is not what makes you responsible, marriage only creates a field for the exercise of responsibility. You must already be responsible before marriage. A man is responsible.

Marriage is for men, not for boys.

A fine boy on campus is different from a fine boy outside campus. One is defined by genetics, the other by economic strength.

Following up on the concept of responsibility, a marriage must have an economic model. Boys don’t think of this of course. They only think about sex and romance. But romance can’t survive lack of income.

There is no ROMANCE without FINANCE

If you don’t have an income don’t go into marriage. You will lose respect as a man. If she tells you she’ll sleep on the floor with you be very aware that promise has an expiry date.

Rent your own accommodation.

Don’t take your bride to your parents’ house. Women are geographically proprietary. A woman wants her space. She needs her own space. The difficulties generated from subjecting your wife to another local government authority can create a permanent fissure in your marriage.

A man must have his own home

But a sense of responsibility also demands you control your libido. Which is why you should not expose yourself to stimulants like porn materials. Porn is sexual coffee and it’s not decaffeinated.

You can’t be on a porn diet. It’s not healthy.

You risk impotence, and you’re going to set yourself up. You will be in love with the idea of the woman you want to sleep with, it won’t matter who is in front of you.You’re in a mode. And that’s how you end up marrying a simulation and not the woman in front of you.


Whether before or after marriage you need discipline as a man.

The more successful you are the more discipline you need. When you’re rich enough to finance sin you become your own temptation. You have to control your power.

Never forget that Pirelli Tyre advert: Power is nothing without control

Sorry Ladies, this is all about MEN today. We will catch up on other series that speaks to Leadership, Marriage & the Growth Mindset in the comping days.

Do allow me camp here for now & we will look at the fourth and last dimension of man.

The fourth dimension of man is GOVERNMENT

Are you a TOTAL MAN?

Are you functioning in the various dimensions of MANHOOD?

Are you a man of Vision ( are you Visionary)?

Are you a man with a high level of reasoning capacity?

Are you a responsible man?

Are you a RENAISSANCE MAN ?

We appreciate your consistent support as always

This is Leke Alder’s 3rd snippet …….. I AM SHALOMESQ

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THE MAKING OF A GREAT TEAM – IV

Hello Friends, Family & Followers of shalomesqsnippet, it’s another wonderful Friday to be alive as 2019 rolls into the annals of history.

How are things with you? This is Q4, the very last lap of 2019.

How far with your goals & targets for 2019? On course?

If YES congratulations, you are at the home stretch now, keep going dont stop.

If NO dont fret, Q4 can still be your best quarter in 2019, just dust off yourself, be like a river & find a way, dont give up now.

If you need help in reassessing your goals & targets for the remainder of 2019, do reach out to us & we will give our very best support to make you achieve some level of growth between now & December 31st 2019. It’s a promise.

We’ve been pouring out a lot in the last couple of months & also got feedback about the length of our posts.

We’ve listened & will surely make adjustments to ensure our posts are not so long, but brief & straight to the point. We appreciate your thoughts & feedback, this helps us a lot.

So today, we will continue in our series “The making of a great team” & I just knew this will be the next topic to write about based on the Olympics 2020 ticket won by the Nigerian Male basketball team ( D’Tigers) when they beat China ( on home soil) to clinch the ticket & have now done this back-to-back-to-back.

The next Olympics will be in Tokyo, Japan & I would love to be there as it will be a double tick on my bucket list : Attend another Olympics & also visit Japan.

To catch up on the series, please click the links below:

THE MAKING OF A GREAT TEAM

THE MAKING OF A GREAT TEAM – PREQUEL

THE MAKING OF A GREAT TEAM – II

THE MAKING OF A GREAT TEAM – III

This series is based on the “17 Indisputable Laws of Teamwork” by John C. Maxwell & for those that have been following the series, we’ve taken it one law at a time.

Today’s law is the The Law of the Catalyst

Winning teams have players who make things happen.

These are the catalysts, or the get-it-done-and-then-some people who are naturally intuitive, communicative, passionate, talented, creative people who take the initiative, are responsible, generous, and influential.

Going by Chemistry’s definition, a catalyst is a substance that increases the rate of a chemical reaction without itself undergoing any permanent chemical change.

Successful teams will have at least one. Take a look at life generally from sports, to marriage, to organizational teams, military missions, etc.

There is always a catalyst, someone who carries the team & would get the job done at any cost especially in trying & chaotic times.

The unfortunate thing is that in most cases where there are a lot of mediocrity, instead of allowing the catalyst be & perform to the best of their abilities, they are stifled, kicked to the backside or the curb & made of no effect while the team suffers for it.

I dont understand the beef of not passing the ball to a Ronaldo or Messi when they are the best player in the team, the MVP ( Most Valuable Player) & are in a better position to score the winning goal.

Ultimately the team suffers for it when the catalyst are not given the free hand, authority & backing to perform at their best.

We must learn to collaborate & allow each member to bring their A-game to the table at all times, it shouldn’t be a competition.

In this sense, competition is not healthy as it divides the team & the main objectives are not achieved.

The greatest catalyst I’ve ever had the privilege of seeing in action is Michael Jordan.

In the opinion of many people (including me), he is the greatest basketball player ever to play the game, not only because of his talent, athleticism & understanding of the game, but also because of his ability to perform as a catalyst. Check out his profile below:

MICHAEL JORDAN

How to become or Identify a Catalyst?

According to John, these guys are easy to spot after they’ve done something for the team consistently however the better thing to do is to spot them even before they do anything, recognize them & raise them up with authority.

Below are a list of attributes that will make you spot or become a catalyst:

  1. Intuitive
  2. Communicative
  3. Passionate
  4. Talented
  5. Creative
  6. Initiating
  7. Responsible
  8. Generous
  9. Influential

When you see many of those nine qualities in someone on your team,take heart.

When crunch time comes, he or she is likely to step up to a whole new level of performance, and attempt to take the team there too.

Assignment

Rate your own teamwork abilities by scoring yourself between 1-10 on these 9 qualities of a catalyst. No matter what the % score is, you can always improve.

Start to put yourself on the road to improvement by doing the following things:

  • Find a mentor. Players become catalysts only with the help of people more skilled than themselves. Find someone who makes things happen to help you along the way.
  • Begin a growth plan. Put yourself on a program that will help you develop your skills and talents. You cannot take the team to a higher level if you haven’t gotten there.
  • Get out of your comfort zone. You won’t know what you’re capable of until you try to go beyond what you’ve done before.

If you follow these three guidelines, you still may or may not become a catalyst, but you will at least become the best you can be — and that’s all that anyone can ask of you.

Allow me dock here for today & we will surely continue on the series next time looking at the next law, THE LAW OF THE COMPASS.

Are you a catalyst in your team?

Do you need help to be one?

This is my snippet …….. I AM SHALOMESQ

The Leadership Myth – I

Hello All, it’s a wonderful feeling to be alive this first Friday of September 2019!! The tribute song “September” by Kirk Franklin is booming in the background as I write today.

So in a blink of an eye, we are LIVE in Q4 ( the “EMBER” months) & in a few days we will welcome the year 2020.

As usual, how are you doing in the light of your goals & targets set earlier in the year? Are you on track or off? No matter the situation dont give up on yourself now, you have all it takes to make it on your inside & you will get to cross the line, it’s just a matter of time.

We would like to sincerely appreciate everyone who has joined this train, who reads our posts, follows this blog, makes comments & share these posts with others. You, all are the reason we are still here.

The “Cultivating A Growth Mindset” series is by far the longest we’ve embarked on since the inception of this blog & we are currently at the point of discussing the Leadership Myth.

It’s taken this long & it lends credence to the fact that changing of a mindset is the most difficult thing to do (especially when the subject is still in denial about the need for change)

To catch-up on this topic, please click the link below:

THE LEADERSHIP MYTH

We tried to bust the very first myth about leadership ( Another blogger reached out to me on this, she writes about myth busters & we just clicked), which is:

Leaders are born not made

Everyone is born with the innate gift to lead, rule & reign (Gen 1: 28), however that potential needs to be worked on, refined & brought out.

That takes process & time which is really the art of making something. Nothing of real value is on the surface, Gold, Diamond & Precious Stones are buried deep down in the belly of the earth & it takes work to get it out & make it look awesome.

So don’t condemn yourself, if you are not there yet, everyone is a leader & you have your audience & circle of influence waiting on you to display your giftings, please don’t let them down.

As previously stated, I’ve been reading since last month the book of Dr. Alex Ihama titled “The Mystique of Leadership (How to become an exceptional Leader) & it just gels with the leadership myth topic in the series.

Let’s look at the next myth:

Having a position makes you a leader!!

This is another major myth, I’ve seen over the years of studying people in position authority that it’s not the position that makes the leader, the leader makes the position. You see instances of people forcing themselves on others on the basis of their position, making them comply to orders, instructions & directives.

Looking at the 5 levels of leadership ( by John C. Maxwell), it’s the base level of leadership. I call it baby step leadership, everyone starts from there but if you remain there after a while, then you become a dictator & a bully.

Those who remain in Level 1 do not think of those who report to them as team members or colleagues —rather, they consider them their subordinates or slaves.

A level 1 leader will find it very difficult to manage volunteers, young people, highly intelligent & highly educated people.

I think it was Steve Jobs that said “It doesn’t make sense to hire smart people and then tell them what to do.”

Looking at the practical skills required to be a leader, we mentioned 2 previously :

  1. Reward & Encourage learning through trial & error
  2. Learn to grow into your role as a leader

The next skill is

Third, learn as you go and don’t wait for all the answers

If you wait until you know exactly what you’re doing before you feel confident in leading others and projects, you’ll never be ready.

The key is to learn as you go, figuring out next steps along the way.

I love a portion of Maya Angelou’s poem it says “Let your fall be part of your dance” Dont wait for the perfect time or season, just do it anyway, do it scared but do it nonetheless!!

I’ve led a couple of successful teams & projects that at the start I didn’t have a clue on how to get it done, but I just started it anyway with a high level of articulation & confidence that the clients or my managers think I’ve got it all figured out. I am the only one in the room that know that i’m quacking in my boots. In project management it’s called Progressive Elaboration

Fourth, ask others for feedback

If you want to get better at anything, you need to seek the perspective of others. You want to know how you come across, what you do well, and where you could develop as a leader.

Feedback is a great developmental tool & if used very well can produce awesome results. As an Engineer, in control systems I was taught about open loop & close loop systems.

An open loop control system acts completely on the basis of input and the output has no effect on the control action. – A closed loop control system considers the current output and alters it to the desired condition.

The control action in these systems is based on the output & the main aspect of a closed loop control system is FEEDBACK

I do this regularly & also encourage my team members to do same, in fact I sometimes ask other colleagues outside my team for feedback about myself or a member of my team strictly for developmental purpose & not for appraisals.

This is the reason why some organizations adopt the 360 degree appraisal strategy. This will only work in an environment that allows openness, void of prejudice & toxicity.

Fifth, be flexible and adaptable in your approach

Get comfortable with changing your opinions and direction to achieve results.

I am a stickler for process, procedure & all of that, however I also realize the need to be flexible & adaptable. It seems confusing for a lot of people around me as sometimes I stubbornly stick to the process & other times I just let things slide without saying a word.

I love this quote from Dr Mike Murdock, he says “Wisdom is the ability to recognize differences”. I see differences on a regular basis & I tend not to deal with 2 situations the same way ( even if the look similar), I dig deep to see the uniqueness as all projects are.

Telling others you won’t always have the answers and you’re open to new ideas and opinions that may shape the strategy you choose will positively impact how your team see you.

It will also empower your team to know they can help you to shape the strategy. As you know, leaders are made, not born. You don’t have to be a natural leader. You just need to use the principles that will help you to develop and lead with a growth mindset.

My alarm just went off now, signals it’s time to go….Allow me drop the gist now & we will surely catch-up soon.

Are you still a Level 1 leader?

What are you doing practically to move your leadership to the next level?

What leadership skills are you grooming?

This is another long snippet …….. I AM SHALOMESQ

SO YOU THINK YOU HAVE A MARRIAGE TOO?

Hello dear friends & family!! We appreciate the privilege to share with you on the penultimate day in August 2019 & also the fact that this is the 130th post on this blog.

2019 is spinning away so fast & it’s super amazing to reflect on what has transpired so far this year. As usual, we love to ask about your goals & targets for 2019, hope it’s running smoothly or it’s jacking a bit & you need a pit-stop.

No matter the situation, just make sure you are growing that is the most important.

In our last session on this topic, we asked a question “SO YOU THINK YOU HAVE A MARRIAGE?” and we got a lot of feedback from people with different perspectives about the post & we do appreciate it as these comments make us know that people out there are reading & are being impacted by the post.

To catch up on the last post, please click the link below:

SO YOU THINK YOU HAVE A MARRIAGE?

Just a bit of house cleaning as we gradually look forward to celebrating our 5th Year Anniversary.

Please note that in the coming days & months some changes will be made regarding the distribution of our contents via Social Media to ensure that we are as less intrusive as possible.

Before that happens please subscribe to our blog by clicking the “Follow Blog” button at the bottom of our homepage. We do appreciate the support & feedback.

In our society today, there are a lot of living arrangements between a man & a woman that doesn’t necessarily mean marriage. The institution of marriage has really been watered down to the wedding ceremony alone. I recently attended a colleague’s wedding & I felt a bit of nostalgia looking at the couple beaming with smiles, holding hands & dancing.

It was really beautiful, however that wedding ceremony signals the beginning of a lifetime journey together as a couple & it’s the only institution in which you actually get a certificate (Marriage Certificate) before the learning, tests & examinations starts.

That event got me thinking about how the focus today is about arranging a big ceremony, while neglecting the journey of marriage.

That journey happens to have 4 seasons & it doesn’t mean like nature all of them come & go in a space of a year. The 4 seasons can happen to a couple in a space of days, weeks, months or years & to really affirm that you have a marriage the couple (as a team) must successfully navigate through these seasons & make adjustments while each season lasts to come out better.

Also the 4 seasons of marriage come in cycles & it’s never a one-off, so the requirement for the couple is to keep working on a daily or regular basis on themselves to get better & better.

As was mentioned in one of the posts on making a great team, there are stages to team dynamic: Forming, Storming, Norming & Performing. The same principle applies to marriage.

Marriages that have lasted over the years go through the 4 stages & seasons to come out pristine like Gold after a refiner’s fire.

My wife & I are looking to celebrate 14 years of marriage later this year & I must tell you it’s been awesome ( One of the best decisions I’ve made in my life) & challenging all at the same time. For us to really say or think we have a marriage, we’ve had to go through all of the stages & seasons while we kept getting better & better just like sweet wine.

A lot of younger couples see us & are inspired, they want what we have & even ask that we mentor & pray for them, etc. We just smile & oblige their request noting that nothing good come easily & it takes serious effort to get a good thing going. It’s a lot of hard-work & teamwork.

To put things in perspective:

EVERY MARRIAGE OUT THERE IS DEALING WITH ONE ISSUE OR ANOTHER.

Please don’t be deceived to think your marriage is so bad & that the grass is greener on the other side. It’s greener on that side because they put in the effort to water it.

I see a lot of young people who like our technological advancements wants things easy, quickly & microwaved but just like nature you need to plant the seed, water it, wait for a while to allow it grow & then get harvest.

SEED-TIME-HARVEST

The 4 Seasons

The concept of the 4 seasons of marriage comes from a book by one of my favorite authors Gary Chapman PhD ( who wrote The 5 Love Languages)

There is a series about The 5 Love Languages on this blog & you can click the link below to peruse them starting with Part 1

The 5 Love Languages

The climate in my home country of Nigeria is divided into 2 seasons: Raining Season ( which we are in now) & the Dry Season ( where we experience Harmattan between November & mid-March)

It’s possible to still discuss the seasons of marriage using this as examples, however to be consistent with the author in the light of the climate/weather obtainable in the US & the fact that it’s a global audience, we will stick with the 4 seasons of WINTER, SPRING,SUMMER & FALL.

In the next post on this series, each season will be looked at as Dr. Chapman highlighted in his book & we will draw out the emotions,attitudes,actions & the climate of relationship.

What stage of team dynamics are you in your marriage?

You think it’s greener on the other side?

What season are you currently in your marriage?

So you think you have a marriage too?

This is my snippet …….. I AM SHALOMESQ

The Total Man – I

Hello Family, it’s the penultimate Friday in August 2019!!! Time is really ebbing away & I do hope you are ticking off your 2019 set goals.

If YES, Kudos to you. If NO, all is not lost yet, we still have about 20 weeks left in 2019 to score some points & end the year on a high.

As always I am available to provide any support you might require.

About 2 weeks ago, I started a new series on the “THE TOTAL MAN” & based on comments & feedback, I have been inspired to continue today. To catch up on the last post in this series, please click on the link below:

THE TOTAL MAN

In continuation of the series, please note that Leke Alder gave this lecture or speech at the Men’s Conference of The Covenant Christian Center, The Covenant Place Iganmu, Lagos, Nigeria on Sunday, June 29, 2019.

Once again, allow me to introduce to some & present to others, Leke Alder:

According to Genesis, man was made from two ideational raw materials. They are “image” and “likeness” – “Let us make man in our image and after our likeness.” Genesis 1:27. These raw materials are progressive and nativist.

Because man is made from “image” for example he responds to images. If you’ve been wondering why men like Page 3 girls and cultural approximations, this is it.

But the fact man is made from image also gave him imagination. He can stitch imageries together in his head. And because he can visualize things, he has the capacity for vision.

The concept of a man therefore incorporates imagination and vision.

The second ideational raw material is “likeness.” Because man is made from “likeness” he is able to do comparative analysis, compare like with like, differentiate like from unlike. He can do analytical reasoning, run analogies.

The two ideational factors in essence gave man right brain, left brain capacities, much like the concept of the logos. The whole ideational infrastructure is based on the concept of the logos.

I know we often say logos is “written word” and “rhema” is “spoken word,” but those words are much deeper and much bigger than we imagine. In Greek philosophy, which is where the concepts came from, logos is the principle of divine reason and creative order.

It is a right brain, left brain proposition.Yes, logos is “word”; but that’s also the code name for Jesus in the programming world. “In the beginning was the Word.” John 1:1.

He’s the creative genius in Genesis – “For by him all things were created, in heaven and on earth.” Colossians 1:16. He generated a code to run the universe, eponymously named the programme “Word”.

The Bible says he upholds all things by the word of his power. Hebrews 1:3. The force of gravity is one of the functions of that program; science says it’s one of the four fundamental forces, along with strong and weak nuclear forces and electromagnetism.

Gravity holds things high up there. It is an expression of the word of his power.


What Jesus essentially did was donate his code to mankind. He programmed himself into man. He would later reprise that role in the New Testament with the recreated man. If any man be in Christ he is a new creature. 2 Corinthians 5:17. In other words, the Christian is Man version 2.0.

But here’s where it gets interesting. In order to give man the capacity to generate the future God licensed him a technology called faith. Faith is the technology of the future. It’s a creative technology. But without imagination faith can’t work. It’s why God uses visualization to generate faith in man.

We see an illustration of this in God’s dealings with a gentleman from the Middle East named Abraham. When God wanted to give him a vision of what he could become he directed his gaze heavenward, told him to count the stars to see his numeric potential.

With the naked eye Abraham must have seen thousands of stars in the Milky Way Galaxy. But God wasn’t thinking thousands, he was thinking billions. And so he gave him a secondary analogy – told him his descendants will be like sand on the sea shore.

Abraham of course could not have known there are more stars in the Milky Way Galaxy than the sand on the sea shore. The Milky Way Galaxy alone has between 100-400 billion stars.

God never thinks small. Stop thinking small.

The law of visualization says you must see it before you see it. That’s because you can edit yourself. You have the capacity to become what you see. You can write your history in advance. And so to maximize your potential as a man you must learn to use your imagination, you must be creative.

And you must learn to reason analytically. You can’t do Twitter reasoning.

Let me give you a personal illustration on how to use the tool of visualization. When I was a young man I wanted to live in a particular neighborhood. The fences in that neighborhood are low rise. They’re are unlike the fence at Maximum Prison.

A certain class of people lived in that neighborhood. Buses don’t even ply that neighborhood. You have to own a car. Here’s what I did. I would drive to that neighborhood at least once every week. I’ll just keep driving round, soaking in the atmosphere.

Sometimes I’ll park and just drink in the environment. Within two years I had moved into that neighborhood. I didn’t even say, I’m exercising faith, or I’m believing God like we usually say. It just happened. My desire was so strong and I had visual aid.

Faith has to have a picture. It’s why Jesus asked the blind man what he wanted him to do. What do you want me to do for you, Jesus had asked. Mark 10:51. The man said he wanted to see. He needed to have a picture of his eyes restored in his head before his faith could function. That’s why Jesus asked him the question.

Please don’t confuse the Abrahamic visualization exercise with New Age application. New Age borrowed the principle but would not acknowledge the author. Satan has no respect for intellectual property. The problem with New Age is the non recognition of God, the substitution of God for man. Thus man becomes an end in himself and that is a negation of Genesis.

In New Age there’s an idolatrous appeal to mother nature, the crediting of the universe with outcomes. New Age has a form of godliness but denies the power thereof. 2 Timothy 3:5. But the principle of visualization is nonetheless valid.


You can increase your creative and reasoning capacity. If you want to expand your analytical and creative capabilities you need to read, and you have to read wide. Apostle Paul was a well-read individual. He was familiar with Plato’s philosophy. You’ll find a refutation of Platonic philosophy in some of his writings.

His concept of Christ as equal to God for example challenges Plato’s concept of a demiurge. In Platonic philosophy a demiurge is a subordinate god who fashions and arranges the physical world. Some Gnostics will later adopt the idea. They saw the demiurge as one of the forces of evil.

Apostle John was well read too. He seemed familiar with the work of an eccentric philosopher called Heraclitus. It was Heraclitus who originally propounded the concept of the Logos. John took the concept further, declaring the Logos is not just a principle but actually a personage. John 1:1 is more or less a doctoral thesis. Apostle John would also confront Gnosticism.

If you’ve ever watched the Da Vinci Code or read Dan Brown’s book of the same title, you’ll be familiar with gnostic philosophy. All that stuff about Jesus having a wife and fathering a child is gnostic teaching. In fact, one of the major religions in the world today is predicated on gnostic doctrine, just that most don’t realize.

Don’t just read the Bible. And don’t just read motivational books. After you’ve been motivated then what?

If you want to be a total man study philosophy, economics, sociology, theology, art history, etc. Study the humanities. Be a renaissance man.

You’ve got to travel. When you travel visit museums, especially museums of modern art. They make you think in abstract form. Soak in environments where there’s design thinking. If you can’t afford to travel read magazines, whether online or offline. It’s one of the cheapest ways to travel. Read magazines that contain pictures to aid your visualization. Window shop. It’s free. It will expose you to material excellence and culture.

Reprogram yourself. You were made on Android platform. You’ve got to regulate your intake. It’s not compulsory you read newspapers first thing in the morning. That’s a lot of bad news to consume first thing in the morning. Run away from negative people. Don’t let them program you for failure. If it does not align with your strategic vision avoid intake.

Visualization is a primary medium. Visualization is so powerful Nigerians began to paint their houses the colors of N.T.A (Nigerian Television Authority) logo! They watch N.T.A every day. Have you noticed how many Nigerian houses are painted deep brown and yellow ochre?

The excuse is that brown absorbs dirt but how does that explanation work for yellow ochre? It can’t hide dirt. Up N.T.A!

Next stop we will be looking at the third dimension of manhood.

As we approach our 5th year anniversary there will be some changes as regards the distribution of our contents via Social Media to ensure that we are as less intrusive as possible.

Before that happens please subscribe to our blog by clicking the “Follow Blog” button at the bottom of our homepage.

We appreciate your consistent support as always

This is Leke Alder’s 2nd snippet …….. I AM SHALOMESQ

SO YOU THINK YOU HAVE A MARRIAGE?

Hello wonderful friends & family!! Thank God it’s another great Friday, the 3rd one in August 2019.

We are always humbled by the privilege accorded us to share with you once a week & we are indeed blessed by the feedback(s) that we get which is a great source of encouragement to the shalomesqsnippet team.

Just a bit of house cleaning as we gradually look forward to celebrating our 5th Year Anniversary.

Please note that in the coming days & months some changes will be made regarding the distribution of our contents via Social Media to ensure that we are as less intrusive as possible.

Before that happens please subscribe to our blog by clicking the “Follow Blog” button at the bottom of our homepage. We do appreciate the support & feedback.

We do realize that we have so many series in the works since the beginning of the year, however this blog was created & designed to bless people across many fronts & to inspire others as we are also inspired.

Today’s post is a spin-off from the series on “THE MAKING OF A GREAT TEAM” especially the last post that looked at a couple as a team.

Please get updated on the series with the links below:

THE MAKING OF A GREAT TEAM – III

THE MAKING OF A GREAT TEAM – II

THE MAKING OF A GREAT TEAM – PREQUEL

THE MAKING OF A GREAT TEAM

The title of today’s post is inspired by one of the many TV shows I love to watch with my family “So You Think You Can Dance (SYTYCD)“.

SYTYCD

The show features a format wherein dancers trained in a variety of dance genres enter open auditions held in a number of major U.S. cities to showcase their talents and move forward through successive additional rounds of auditions to test their ability to adapt to different styles.

At the end of this process, a small number of dancers are chosen as finalists. These dancers move on to the competition’s main phase, where they perform solo, duet, and group dance numbers on live television, attempting to master a diverse selection of dance styles.

They compete for the votes of the broadcast viewing audience which, combined with the input of a panel of judges, determines which dancers advance to the next stage from week to week, until a winner is crowned as “America’s favorite dancer“.

I belong to a few Social Media groups & while travelling out of station last month, someone in one of the groups shared a book written by one of my favorite authors Gary Chapman PhD ( who wrote The 5 Love Languages) titled “The 4 seasons of Marriage : Secrets To A Lasting Marriage“.

As my practice I archived the book in my cloud storage with the aim of reading it while traveling not knowing that the series on the making of a great team will drift in this direction.

God has an amazing way of getting my attention about something ahead of time by orchestrating & aligning things around me in that particular direction.

So You Think You Have A Marriage (SYTYHAM)??

I will take a stab at this to the best of my abilities based on my knowledge in Life for over 40 years as well as experience in my soon to be 14 years of Marriage.

A lot of people do struggle when it comes to relationships & do dream of landing one of the best relationships on earth – MARRIAGE– however some of the knowledge they have about this wonderful aspect of mankind is based on warp ideologies,mindset, truism & paradigm.

I’ve tried to set the right baselines (for singles, searching & selecting) with some of my previous posts below:

This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh!! Part 1

This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh!! Part 2

Please permit me to skip for now the 2nd phase (of courtship & dating) & just jump to the crux of the matter (Marriage)

According to Dr. Chapman “Marriages are perpetually in a state of transition (of flux), continually moving from one season to another perhaps not annually, as in nature, but just as certainly and consistently. Sometimes we find ourselves in winter-discouraged, detached, and dissatisfied; other times we experience springtime, with its openness, hope, and anticipation. On still other occasions we bask in the warmth of summer-comfortable, relaxed, enjoying life. And then comes fall with its uncertainty, negligence, and apprehension.

The cycle repeats itself many times throughout the life of a marriage, just as the seasons repeat themselves in nature”

The book describes these recurring seasons of marriage,to help you and your spouse identify which season your marriage is in, and to show you how to move away from the unsettledness of fall or the alienation and coldness of winter toward the hopefulness of spring or the warmth and closeness of summer.

The 4 Seasons ( Summary)

The seasons of marriage come and go. Each one holds the potential for emotional health and happiness, and each one has its challenges. The key is to develop the necessary skills to enhance your marriage in all four seasons.

Unlike trees, which are at the mercy of the weather and other factors, as humans we have the capacity to make decisions. We can choose attitudes and actions that will improve and strengthen our marriages.

We can plant seeds of love and hope in the springtime that will produce fruit during the summer.

And we can harvest a storehouse of good feelings and open communication that will prepare us to weather the changes of fall and the icy cold of winter.

Marriage relationships are constantly changing. Attitudes shift, emotions fluctuate, and the way spouses treat each other ebbs and flows between loving and not so loving. Sometimes, change is beyond our control.

WINTER

Winter marriages are characterized by coldness, harshness, and bitterness. The dreams of spring are covered with layers of ice.” Conversations are only about logistics–who will do what and when they will do it.

Communication is relegated to silence, arguments, criticism, and, at times, verbal abuse. Lives are lived independently, although under the same roof.

SPRING

“Spring is where most marriages begin,” says Chapman. “The excitement of creating a new life together is not exclusively for newlyweds.” The emotions in a spring marriage are characterized by excitement, joy, hope, and happiness. Couples feel animated and buoyant, and their attitudes towards one another are positive.

There is both gratitude and anticipation of the future, and an overall feeling of optimism and trust.

SUMMER

Fun is the theme of a summer marriage,” says Chapman. “Life is beautiful and reaping benefits of efforts to understand each other. Spouses share a deep sense of commitment, satisfaction, and security in each other’s love.” Emotions include happiness, satisfaction, accomplishment, connection, peace, and FUN! Attitudes are beautiful, but they must be watered, or else they will wither in the heat of the sun. There is usually a desire to keep growing together. The communication is constructive, and couples have learned to accept each other’s differences.

A couple in the summer season of marriage needs to be forewarned, though. Unresolved conflicts under the surface must be brought out if a marriage is to remain in a state of fullness.

FALL

“These marriages look fine externally; outsiders may even comment on how happy the couple seems to be. Yet inside the marriage, things are changing.” Fall marriages can either be a prelude to winter, or a couple can dig deep and make time reverse so they can move to spring. Emotions in this season include sadness, apprehension, rejection, resentment, loneliness, and emotional depletion.

Couples in the fall season of their marriage have attitudes of great concern over their marriages; there is an uncertainty about where things are going.

Whatever season you are in, there are nuggets to glean, actions to take, emotions & attitudes to watch out for & climate of relationship in that season.

I will attempt to unpack these points in the following posts & do hope it will be a blessing to someone out there.

Let’s take a pit stop right now & catch up later.

What marriage season are you currently in?

Do you need help to navigate through the season?

This is my snippet …….. I AM SHALOMESQ

The Total Man

What a wonderful day it is today!! It’s the 2nd Friday in the month of August 2019!!

Hope you are all doing great & things are moving along as planned?

How are your 2019 goals? Have you achieved any?

If YES, then celebrate the milestone & kick-on from there to a higher level.

If NO, reassess what went wrong & give it a try again!! It’s not over until you say so!!

I would like to appreciate the comments & feedback I got from the last post on:

The Leadership Myth

The engagements were a source of encouragement to us affirming the fact that we are making an impact from our little corner of the world. Thanks a lot to everyone.

Today’s topic (The Total Man) is a start to yet another series & it was really clear to me after encounters this week with the works of 2 profound thinkers & fantastic coaches:

Leke Alder

Olusola Lanre

Allow me to introduce to some & present to others, Leke Alder:

The subject of our deliberation today is the total man. To be sure there are four men mentioned in scriptures. There’s that bloke we all know from Genesis, the guy named Adam. Then there’s the mediator between God and mankind – the Man Christ Jesus (1 Timothy 2:5).

He is sui generis – a very unique man. Then there’s the recreated man Paul wrote about in 2 Corinthians 5:17. You’ve been taught a lot about this man in church.

Lastly, there’s the man of sin, the personage popularly referred to as Antichrist (2 Thessalonians 2:3-10).

These are the four men in scriptures, but the man we’re dealing with in this lecture is the bloke from Genesis. He’s the mechanical engineering template for mankind.

There are many ways we can approach the subject of total man. We can for example tackle the topic from a utilitarian perspective, say define man as a bread winner. But that will not travel socially or culturally. There are many homes in which the woman is the bread winner.

We can also define a man adjectivally, looking at the qualities of manhood. But chances are we will end up with a multiplicity of definitions. It’s like trying to define a table. You can define a table in many ways. For example, you can define a table as a four-legged wooden platform. But there are tables with three legs, and there are even tables with no legs. They’re suspended. There are plastic and there are metal tables. Not all tables are made of wood. We nonetheless generally approach the definition of manhood in this manner. That’s why there are so many definitions out there.

To some a man is a sexually virile male who’s wholly defined by the fecundity of his spermatozoa. Believe it or not there are men out there who boast about impregnating women. To them that’s proof of manhood.

To some others a man is defined by the size of his appendage. The bigger the appendage the more affirming the definition. If you’ve ever seen a Calvin Klein brief advert, you’ll be familiar with this definition. But as any woman who has ever been married to an engorged but irresponsible male will attest it is a farcical definition of manhood. Besides, that engorged appendage is a biological accident. It’s nothing more than genetic donation.

There’s also the apathetic definition of manhood. It says a man has no feelings and never shows feelings. It’s how young men end up breaking the hearts of women. This definition of manhood endangers marriage. The man can’t express his feelings to his spouse. He can’t tell his wife, “I love you!” It’s unfortunately reinforced by that societal maxim, “Real men don’t cry.” And yet Jesus wept. Was Jesus not a real man? Emotional constipation is not the definition of manhood.

Not to be left behind Africans have developed their own definition. And it’s a culturally flavored definition. According to that definition a real man is an accumulator of women who nonetheless refuses to take advice from women.

He never listens to his wife. In other words, a real man is a fool! A wise man listens to counsel. (Proverbs 12:15). The man who wrote that actually had 700 wives and 300 concubines; and he regularly took advice from his mum.

None of these definitions will serve us well. If we want to understand the concept of man we have to dial back, go back to basics – the Book of Genesis. It’s where the concept came from. The Hebrew word translated Genesis is Bereshit. It means “In the beginning.” In that book, you’ll find there are four critical dimensions to manhood and that these attributes are capacities. If you don’t develop those capacities you will struggle at succeeding as a man. Here’s how man came about.

According to the Bible a creative genius uniquely identified as “God” conceptualized a new product called “man.” This was after angels and the animal class had been created. Man is an intermediary product between angels and animals. He has lower capabilities than angels but has higher processing power than animals. He is a self-propelled semi-autonomous entity embedded with a miniaturized mainframe computer called the brain. With that brain, he is able to processes zettabytes of data.

A compression algorithm makes unlimited storage of videos and texts possible. He has a user friendly cognitive interface called the soul. Among other things the soul converts signals, reconfigures them into different programming languages that are material sensitive. There’s a local area network embedded. It’s how a boy and a girl can communicate and fall in love with each other in a room full of people without saying a word to each other. The soul emits signals.

The very unique thing about this entity called man however is that he was created on an open architecture platform. Because of that man is able to modify and edit himself. He has the ability to reprogram himself. It is debatable what kind of architecture angels are built on, whether open or modified open; but we know the animal class can’t modify themselves.

They were created on a proprietary platform, very much like iPhones. Man, on the other hand was created on an open platform like a phone running on android system. Think Samsung.

Creating man on that open platform was a huge gamble, a very huge gamble, and at some point, God expressed regret. Man is prone to virus infection like happened in the Garden of Eden. He can be infected with deadly propaganda. He is prone to going crazy on God. He’s been known to deny the existence of his Creator.

But without that open architecture salvation will be impossible. Man can’t repent by himself. There’s no record of angels or animals repenting. And anyway, the programme of salvation rules them out. Or Jesus would have had to identify as an animal or fallen angel – a hypostatic union of 100% Christ, 100% animal; or 100% fallen angel and 100% Christ.

The body of man is a mineral composite. It is largely made up of six elements – oxygen, carbon, hydrogen, nitrogen, calcium and phosphorus. The binding agent used for the original prototype is aluminum phyllosilicate.

It’s also known as clay. It’s why the Bible says Adam was made from clay.

But you cannot understand the idea of man from his physical make up. It’s a terribly flawed approach. That’s like trying to measure the weight of your luggage with a thermometer. It’s one of the reasons we have problems in marriage. We determine character from personality and looks for example. That’s measuring weight with thermometer.

To understand what the Maker had in mind when he made man you have to look at the conceptual dimensions of man.

Man was first an idea before the engineering was done.

Let’s drop the anchor here, allow this to sink & enjoy the view of a new perspective. This series & all others will continue in the weeks & months to come as duly inspired.

As we approach our 5th year anniversary there will be some changes as regards the distribution of our contents via Social Media to ensure that we are as less intrusive as possible. Before that happens please subscribe to our blog by clicking the “Follow Blog” button at the bottom of our homepage.

We appreciate your consistent support as always

This is Leke Alder’s snippet …….. I AM SHALOMESQ

The Leadership Myth

Hello wonderful family & welcome to the 1st Friday & 2nd day in the 8th month of the year 2019. It’s a beginning of another fantastic month that is fixing to be exciting as we kick-on into Q3.

As always I’ll like to know how far you are on the path to reaching your goals & targets for 2019? If you are on-track, well done!! Keep pushing until that finish line. If off-track, re-assess yourself, identify what went wrong, make corrections & get back on-track, keep on keeping on!!! You are not far from the end.

Even though I am still working out of station, I’ve fully readjusted my routine to align & things are going smoothly now. The last couple of days has been a bit emotional for me as I was given the privilege to attend a vendor’s exhibition event for all players in my industry – Telecommunications- and it was great seeing old faces & reconnecting. I’ve had the privilege of working in the industry for the past 18 years or so & started as part of the pioneer engineers in the country at that time.

One thing I took away from the experience is the fact that people will remember you for good or evil based on the impact you have on their lives during the times they interacted with you & also that you don’t have to be in a leadership position to lead, influence & impact lives. I am super grateful for the experience & this takes a special place in my heart.

Coincidentally, based on my blog schedule, today’s post is meant to be on Leadership Myth which is the continuation of our “Cultivating A Growth Mindset series. It’s interesting how things just pan out & work together for good.

GREEK MYTHOLOGY

I was introduced to Greek mythology when a was a child while reading books from my father’s huge library & I still remember the 1st story I read about “Jason & the Golden Fleece” & then the classic 1981 movie “Clash of the Titans“. Zeus ( God of the sky, lightning, thunder, law, order, and justice) is the Leader & King of the Greek Gods who ruled from Mount Olympus. There is a whole catalog of documents & videos on this topic which you can dive into if you are interested in such, for me I was really fascinated.

LEADERSHIP

I recently started reading a book by Alex Ihama titled “The Mystique of Leadership (How to become an exceptional Leader)” & this all tied nicely together with everything that has been happening to me & the recent experience I shared earlier.

I have been a student of Leadership, Strategy & Warfare tactics & History for a while & have studied & learnt from Iconic Leaders like Jesus Christ, Winston Churchill, Abraham Lincoln, Mahatma Ghandi, Martin Luther King Jr., Rosa Parks, John F. Kennedy, Mother Teresa, Nelson Mandela, Obafemi Awolowo, Nndamdi Azikiwe, Abubakar Tafawa Balewa, Barak Obama, John C. Maxwell, T.D. Jakes, Joyce Meyer, Miles Munroe, Olubi Johnson, Tunde Bakare & a host of others, so I was super excited when I got to this topic in the series & we are going to spend a while here.

LEADERSHIP MYTH

According to Dr. Roberts ( The facilitator of the Growth Mindset Course on LinkedIn Learning), when it comes to creating leaders, research shows those with a growth mindset show far more potential than those with a fixed mindset. It’s such an important part of successful leadership that organizations like Microsoft invest heavily in helping leaders to create a growth mindset.

This is because it’s an essential ingredient in reaching potential, stretching current abilities, and creating high-performing teams. In fact, one of the key goals of Satya Nadella who is the CEO of Microsoft is to transform Microsoft’s culture into that which values and rewards continual learning and growth.

Now, there is a leadership myth that you may have heard. Leaders are born, not made. This concept means you either naturally have the capability and skill to be a leader or you don’t. This kind of thinking is opposite to developing a growth mindset. And actually, research has completely debunked this idea. Some people may find it easier than others to step into a leadership role, but everyone has the ability to develop and hone leadership skills. There are key skills you need to be a good leader.

Arguably, the most important being utilizing a growth rather than fixed mindset when leading. What does creating a growth mindset as a leader look like in practice? There are some key principles:

First, reward and encourage learning through trial and error.

When leading projects, teams, and developments, you won’t always start out with the best solution so testing and trialing approaches is important. The key focus should be on encouraging and rewarding smart risks whether they succeed or not especially if they yield insights that can help the business to move forward.

Earlier in my career, I worked with a company that had this culture.

Failure wasn’t fatal, it was treated as a lesson so it helped build up confidence in our abilities as engineers & solution architects to recover from any situation, we were given the chance to develop a growth mindset.

I remember days that we will be in the WAR ROOM trying to resolve challenges related to the launch of the network whether it was due to a fault of an individual or the entire team.

It was ONE for ALL & ALL for ONE!!

The confidence reposed in us by our Line Manger, Head of Division, GM, CTO & CEO was so great that we broke a lot of barriers & became firsts at a lot of things. Sadly, it seems that company is still the only place in the industry that kept & nurtured that culture even after 14 years of my departure.

All other places have treated failure as fatal & during times challenging time, the hatchet is out looking for whose head to cut off.

This has developed a defensive mindset in people, so no one is willing to take risks & they just settle for mediocrity not knowing that with great risk comes great reward.

At Pixar Animations, President Ed Catmull has created a culture that not only accepts mistakes and failures, but actually celebrates them.

Second, learn to grow into your role as a leader.

As time passes, you’ll learn more about the kind of leader you are and the kind of leader you want to be. No one wakes up one day as a leader with all the skills, vision, and abilities they’re ever going to require.

With a growth mindset, you’ll be continually learning and developing as a leader. And that’s the positive and humble way to create leadership success.

I have worked with different types of managers & leaders over the course of my career & believe me there are many flavors out there, THE GOOD, THE BAD & THE UGLY & I’ve gleaned ( and still gleaning) lessons from ALL of them on what to do ( or not do) as a leader.

PREVIOUS POSTS ON LEADERSHIP

Over the last 4 ( going to 5) years of this blog, I have written a few posts related to Leadership & It would be great at this point to reference some of the links below for your catching up.

Be a Leader, Be a Boss!!

Leadership & Work Ethics Series

Criteria for Leadership

Cultivating Leadership Skills in our Kids Series

The leadership growth journey is summarized below based on John C. Maxwell’s principle & book “The 5 Levels of Leadership“:

LEVEL 1- POSITION

It’s the lowest level of leadership and considered the entry level to the leadership ladder. Maxwell points out that just because someone is a boss does not necessarily mean they are leadersand those people will not get past level one. They do not think of those who report to them as team members—rather, they consider them their subordinates.

Because of this, they hold rules, regulations, and policies up on a pedestal, using them to control the people who report to them. The only reason people follow level one leaders is that they have to, and they follow them only so far as they must.

Because it is entry-level, the position does not require any particular effort or ability. Any person can be placed in the position of level one leadership, so anyone seeking to become an influential leader must seek to advance past this level.

A level-one leader will have difficulty influencing volunteers, younger people, and the highly educated.

LEVEL 2 – PERMISSION

As the first level requiring effort to obtain, level two marks someone’s rise to leadership. This level leads to people following because they are compelled to by something more than following orders or a job description. The reason for this is that there is a relationship between the leader and those reporting to the leader. This fosters an environment where people feel that their leader values and trusts them. They start to work together with their leader.

The leader is no longer in charge of subordinates, but rather begins to act as a point person for a team of equals.

LEVEL 3 – PRODUCTION

This is where the wheat is separated from the chaff. In this analogy, the leaders are the wheat and those who do nothing more than occupy positions of leadership are the chaff. Strong leaders get results and impact an organization. They have the ability to be productive individually and to inspire their team to be productive. In order to reach level three, leaders must have self-discipline and work ethic. They must possess organizational skills.

At this level, leaders are starting to develop an influential reputation because of their relationships with others and because of their production. It is important to keep building relationships—reaching a higher level of leadership does not grant permission to neglect the skills that brought one to previous levels. As the level three leader produces, momentum builds and not only does the bottom line improve, but so does morale.

The team is able to meet more goals and turnover decreases. This is also the level when leading becomes fun for the leader, too.

LEVEL 4 – PEOPLE DEVELOPMENT

At level four, the leader begins to shift from focusing on personal and corporate production to building other leaders. Great leadership begets great leaders—people are an organization’s most valuable asset and also its most appreciable asset because, with the guidance of a level-four leader, others can begin their journey through the levels of leadership as well. Level-four leaders spend only about 20 percent of their time focused on personal productivity. The rest of their energy is devoted to building other leaders.

Work on this level requires that leaders learn to delegate, which can be difficult for more hands-on types. The relationships developed at this stage are often lifelong.

LEVEL 5 – PINNACLE

At the fifth and final level, reside the leaders who have led other leaders to level four. It is rare to find a level-five leader because reaching this level requires much skill as well as natural leadership abilities. Level-five leaders are legacy-makers. Success seems to follow in the wake of pinnacle leaders, and it may look effortless to those outside of the leadership levels. Their influence is transcendental. It is rare to find a level-five leader who is not advanced in his or her career as well. This level is a great opportunity for leaders to make changes outside of their organization and even outside of their industry.

Unlike levels one through four, which can be achieved through hard work, skill building, and relationship building, level five requires an innate talent for leadership.

We will continue on the other myths in the coming posts….. Stay tunned

What leadership myths do you have?

Are leaders born or made?

What level of leadership are you on?

This is my (long) snippet …….. I AM SHALOMESQ

THE MAKING OF A GREAT TEAM – III

#TGIF family!!! it’s the last Friday of the Month of July 2019 & we will shortly land in the 8th month of August. The year 2019 is rolling along quickly & Q3 will soon be over, so how far have you achieved as regards your 2019 set goals?

Since all national cup competitions have come to an end, we are ever getting closer to the start of a new EPL season & my darling club – Chelsea FC– the pride of London is fixing to take another stab at winning the EPL again & also doing well in Europe.

Today’s post will continue on our discuss regarding “The making of a Great Team” & this will be the 4th post in the series.

To catch up on the previous posts, please click the links below

THE MAKING OF A GREAT TEAM

THE MAKING OF A GREAT TEAM – PREQUEL

THE MAKING OF A GREAT TEAM – II

Following John C. Maxwell 17 Indisputable Laws of Teamwork, today we will be looking at “The Law of the Chain

The strength of the team is impacted by its weakest link. When a weak link remains on the team the stronger members identify the weak one, end up having to help him/her, come to resent him/her, become less effective, and ultimately question their leader’s ability.

This nicely ties up with a post I made last year on the topic the weakest link based on a popular British game show I loved watching growing up.

You can read up that post by clicking the link below

THE WEAKEST LINK

A chain is as strong as it’s weakest link“, this statement first appeared in Thomas Reid’s “Essays on the Intellectual Powers of Man,” published in 1786 & it means that a group is only as strong or successful as its weakest or least successful member.

So far, the discussions have been majorly related to teams in a corporate or organizational settings but today I’ll like to switch to looking at a couple as a team. A man & a woman coming together in holy matrimony under God forms a team just like any other team. Gen 2:24 & Ecclesiastes 4:12

It will be 14 years (by November) that I said “I DO” to my delectable & authentic wife in the presence of witnesses & it’s been a fantastic journey since. We went through all of the various stages of team development & now we are the performance stage of our relationship.

God has granted us the privilege by his mercy to make our home heaven on earth, a haven & not an oven. It took us a lot of work to get here & to an outsider it seems everything is working effortlessly & smoothly, just like a duck gliding on the stream, there is a lot of leg-work action going on underneath that you are not seeing.

A major part of our success is our ability to constantly deal with our weaknesses (reducing them to the minimum) while maximizing our strengths. Our relationship has been a source of inspiration to people around us & we get several requests to counsel young folks who are about to get into a relationship or are already in a relationship.

For those who are about to get into a relationship, we counsel them not to be in a hurry, to work more on themselves as individuals & ensure they dont hook up with an incompatible & weak partner as a team mate. God is interested in making a great home for anyone just like he did for Adam & Eve in the Garden of Eden

For those already in a relationship, we talk to them about the need for a strong & dynamic team in the home, the need to work on themselves to identify areas of individual weaknesses & start to eliminate them while also looking at the weaknesses of the team together.

The feedback we get is really encouraging most of the time & it also confirms that the principles we’ve used over the years really works.

The aim is not to create carbon copies of us or our relationship but to help each individual or couple be the best they can be as planned by God.

Highlights

  • God cares so much about everything in your life & your happiness is important to him. Remember he thought about the need of a help-meet for Adam. Genesis 2:18, Jeremiah 29:11
  • Your marital team mate is out there waiting for you. Just continue to focus & work on yourself, ensure you are dealing with your weaknesses & growing in all areas of your life, in due time your team mate will show up. Habakkuk 2:3, Genesis 2:22-23
  • Once you find & bond with your team mate under God, aim for greatness ( Contend for the ultimate prize). Ecclesiastes 4:12, Amos 3:3, 1 Corinthians 9:25
  • The home team is not in a competition, you are rather meant to complement each other. So give each member the space & chance to perform in their areas of strength. 2 Corinthians 10:12

I hope this helps someone out there.

Going back to corporate & organization settings, the way to deal with a weak link is slightly different. In this case it’s more ruthless at the end as the weakling is ultimately removed from the team.

The best practice is to find a way of helping the weak team member by tagging them with a strong person & reassessing progress after a while, if the situation doesn’t change for the best, the weak member will have to be taken out of the team as the impact of keeping that weak member will be catastrophic on the team. ( The Law of the Bad Apple)

Do you have weaknesses?

What are your plans of dealing with them?

Do you have a strong team?

How do you deal with a weakling?

Next stop we will be looking at THE LAW of the CATALYST

This is my snippet …….. I AM SHALOMESQ

OPTIMISM – II

#TGIF Family!! It’s another wonderful day to be alive, it’s the penultimate Friday in the month of July 2019. I can’t believe how fast the year is running out. As usual, I will still ask about your goals & targets for 2019, are we on track or off-track?

No matter the answer, just keep keeping on & do reach out to me if you require my support in attaining that goal. Slowly we are building that FB community as a means of support & it would be great to have you as a member.

For the second time in a roll I am working out of station & it’s becoming like a regular affair now, but to say I’m enjoying myself is an understatement.

Based on the various events, I’ve experienced during the week, I’ve been inspired to continue the “Cultivating A Growth Mindset Series” with this post (The 10th in the series). There is really no time to summarize the discuss, but you can click on the links below for a post by post access at your convenience.

OPTIMISM
FAILURE NUGGETS – II
FAILURE NUGGETS – I
THE TALENT TRAP – II
THE TALENT TRAP
CULTIVATING A GROWTH MINDSET – IV
CULTIVATING A GROWTH MINDSET – III
CULTIVATING A GROWTH MINDSET – II
CULTIVATING A GROWTH MINDSET – I

In the last post, we defined OPTIMISM

As the quality of being full of hope and emphasizing the good parts of a situation, or a belief that something good will happen. I also highlighted that this is not just blind faith, but the trust in a God that makes everything work together for my good. No matter how things twist & turn, how many obstacles or challenges I face along the way, I ALWAYS choose to see the good parts & know that it will all work out well.

This week, the story of Joseph (the dreamer) in the Bible has been on replay in my mind constantly. He was hated by his half-brother because of his dreams, his uniqueness (11th son of Jacob) & the coats of many colors his father made for him.

Totally ignorant of the schemes of his evil half-brothers, Joseph was a jolly good fella & one day his half-brothers decided to kill him, but Reuben (thank God for Reuben, I also have a Reuben in my life) found a way to save him & they ended up selling him to a camel caravan carrying spices and perfumes to Egypt as a punishment & they said “We will see what will become of his dreams

One thing was very clear in the story of Joseph from the time of the plot to kill him till he became a god to Pharaoh as the 2nd in command, God was always with him & he prospered. That is the key to my optimism, even in the darkest of the darkest day – as long as I have God with me – I will be fine & everything will work out for my good. In the end, after the dust settles, it will only be GOD & I that will stand.

I will continue to be diligent in my work & do it to the best of my abilities, but I leave a space for God to also do his thing. That is the covenant I live by & stand for.

WHO OWNS THE FUTURE?

This might look like a trick question as I know the answers could be in multiple folds & dimensions. But the simple answer is:

THE FUTURE BELONGS TO THOSE WHO CAN CREATE IT

Psychological research tells us that high levels of self-belief enhance your confidence, which, in turn, increases your chances of reaching goals. To put it simply, Henry Ford was correct when he said, “If you think you can “or you think you can’t, you’re right.” when we talk about optimism, we’re not talking about blind hope.

If you want to achieve success, reach goals, develop your skills and mindset, the most effective way to do this is to utilize an optimistic and realistic approach.

You can do this by following a simple exercise.

Firstly, take some time to consider what it is you want to achieve. This is your vision.

Secondly, create your mission statement. Why is it important you achieve this? What does it mean to you? The more emotional you can be here, the better. You want to really connect with your mission as this will help you to keep moving forward, even when the terrain is rough.

Thirdly, set yourself clear goals that will help you to reach your vision. You want to make sure your goals stretch you, help you to develop, and are achievable with focus and effort.

Fourth, for each goal, detail what you’ll do to make these a reality. What do you need to learn? What skills do you need to develop? Who do you need to speak to to help you?

Finally, how are you going to measure success? Detail how you’ll know when you’ve achieved your goals. Your vision is your guide. Your mission is your optimism. Your goals, tactics, and measurements are how you will create opportunities for yourself.

NUGGETS

Once you achieve your set goals, dont plateau there. Enjoy the victory for a while & press forward & onward, THERE IS MORE. The biggest room in the world is the room for improvement & I personally follow the management & business principle of KAIZEN

Kaizen is an approach to creating continuous improvement based on the idea that small, ongoing positive changes can reap major improvements.

Until my next post, do have a fantastic day & weekend.

This is my snippet …….. I AM SHALOMESQ