Last time, we looked at the 4th love language (Acts of service) & the need to debunk the idea that the load of keeping the home running is solely on the wife. We raised the idea of load sharing & I gave examples of how I do this with my wife.
This being her primary love language is a major catalyst to ensuring that her love tank is always full. I didn’t say that I was perfect, but we both work at our marriage everyday & we see the results of that work.
Now to the last of the love languages (Physical Touch). It is well know that physical touch is a major expression of love. According to Dr Gary Chapman “Numerous research projects in the area of child development have made that conclusion: Babies who are held,hugged, and kissed develop a healthier & more balanced emotional life than those who are left for long periods of time without physical contact”.
He further says “Physical touch is also a powerful vehicle for communicating marital love. Holding hands,kissing, embracing, and sexual intercourse are all ways of communicating emotional love to one’s spouse”.
Even though this is not our primary love language ( my wife & I), we recognize it as one of the ingredients to a full love tank. We endeavour everyday to hug, kiss, give a peck & hold hands as much as it’s practicable, we start each day with a hug at the very least & have sex on a regular basis.
Sexual intercourse is just one of the many dialects of this love language, but I know a lot of people focus more on this & forget the subtle touches that the human being craves for regularly.
Physical touch can make or break a relationship. It can either communicate hate or love. To someone whose primary love is physical touch, a slap in the face is both detrimental & devastating, this applies to both an adult or a child.
In a marriage, the touch of love takes many forms & it’s a great thing for couples to share their most sensitive part(s) with their spouses & ensure that love is communicated as they touch these areas. My wife & I know each others most sensitive areas & we communicate love effectively on a regular basis & I’m not talking necessarily about sex.
There are implicit & explicit touches, but what is appropriate & inappropriate will have to be agreed on by both parties in the marriage as well as the dictates of decency. For example, I don’t see anything wrong in kissing my wife in public or giving her a peck, but groping her in public will be a bridge to far. As a matter of fact there was a day in church while walking back to the main auditorium from the children’s church that she pulled me aside & kissed me.
I was a bit surprised as my wife is a shy person so I asked “What was that for?” & she just said “Thank you”. I’m still trying to figure out what I did that day, so I can do more of it just for my wife to dare to do it again. I was on cloud9 the whole day & week!!!
We are raising a family that hugs, our kids hug to say goodnight, they hug first thing in the morning, they hug when they are leaving for school & when they return. They hug to tender & receive apologies, they hold hands while walking on the street, etc. We ensure that we all get our needed dose of physical touch to fill our love tank on a daily basis.
There are a lot of deeply sensitive stuffs that I have chosen not to openly share for obvious reasons. But anyone that needs further details can reach out to me & we can work something out to help.
The final post on this series will be looking at how to discover your primary love language.
If this has been a blessing to you, please give me a feedback.
This is my snippet, I AM SHALOMESQ!!!