Safe Havens!!!!

Friday 13th February 2015, the Valentine groove was in the air. I was thinking about what to get my wife for the occasion on the way to the office.

As I stepped into the office, I was dragged into a discuss by two of my colleagues, on one side a man married for about 10 years & the other side a woman who is less than 6 months into her marriage. The discussion was about how ladies are mounting serious pressure on their men and how these guys are really having their plates full with pressure on all sides.

Since both of them knew I love to help in the area of marriage and my results were clear for all to see, they asked for my opinion in this matter. This is what I said:

“The stress levels in this modern age has gone through the roof. Our men are being pressured everywhere & to be able to survive men need to create safe havens that they can run to when things gets super crazy”. I wrote a post about setting the right priorities – God,Family & Career- Your safe haven must also follow this order.

Firstly, God must be your highest place of refuge In time of distress. He made us & we are not our own. God is interested in our success, He initiated the need for family when He said “it’s not good for Man to be alone“.

But before making the Woman, he gave Man the assignment, so it’s our responsibility as Men to take charge of our home. There is a quote I recently saw on Facebook that is apt to this discuss “If a Man desires an Angel as Wife, he must firstly create a Heaven-like home, Angels don’t live in Hell!!!!!

Secondly, your home must be a safe haven. When things get crazy at work & in your business, you must be able to recline into the loving arms of your wife & kids. You must be eager to go home,relax and take the weight & stress of work away.

Lastly, to live a fulfilled life,  you must have something you are doing that God can bless, it could be a business or  a career that you are proud of. That also must be a safe haven, as it brings you finances to take care of your loved ones and meet all of your obligations.

Can you imagine someone who is stressed at work, have issues at home and is not in line with God? That person is “of all men most miserable“.

As I said before, it’s the duty of the Man to ensure his home is heaven on earth, the Woman has her part to play but the buck stops with the Man.

Another point I raised was the fact that a lot of married couples experience stress in their marriage because of a lack of proper communication. Each person is speaking only their  language and not that of their spouse.

I use YouVersion Bible for my daily devotion and at the beginning of February I started a Joyce Meyer reading plan on the Love language for Men.

Joyce has had a great influence on my life, I have read a lot of her books and subscribe to her daily podcast. On one of the podcast, she invited Dr. Gary Chapman to talk about the 5 Love Languages and after the podcast, I was so blessed that I looked for the book, bought it and read it cover to cover. I am always looking at ways to better my family relationship and home, so I quickly adapted the nuggets I gleaned from the book into practice.

I recommend that you get this book or podcast, also please check out for some details & try out a test/survey that will indicate what your primary love language is.

My next post on this topic will be dedicated to explain these love languages from our perspectives ( My wife & I).

Essentially, there are 5 love languages, namely:

1. Words of Affirmation

2. Acts of Service

3. Receiving Gifts

4. Quality Time

5. Physical Touch

This is my snippet, I am SHALOMESQ!!!


6 thoughts on “Safe Havens!!!!

  1. What a great piece of work, so inspiring and concise, Men as the Head of Homes must work with their creator to be at peace at all time and overcome the daily challenges as they surface. Safe Heaven!

    Our hanging out with fellow men rather than God and our family as the case may be might likely compound the issue at hand.


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